I haven't been posting much...what else is new?
These past few months have been amazing, even now as I sit here home from work,have sick physically half mentally drained, I can say life is grand. There's never a dull moment in my life,thats for sure and I take every moment for what it is,or at least I try to. What have I been up to? Finished another semester now in my junior year and switching my major, studied abroad in Africa and it was phenom!, learned some truths about myself and others,and remained my contradictory self.
First topic, COLLEGE!
Oh how I love it! My room mate and I survived a semester without losing our 12+ years of friendship and thats a blessing!*tongue out* to those who said we'd dislike each other after living together. This semester I met a lot of interesting people, during school time and abroad. Some I can live with,others I rather live without. In the mist of me meeting people, I ALWAYS learn something about myself! Mostly something to help me,sometimes a reality to keep me grounded. Fact...I love being in school,I love meeting strange people and I love living in my own apartment! yay! Oh one thing I haven't met is a guy who can keep my attention, its hilar, these guys at my school think your suppose to fall all over them because their college boys...um sir. no! I would say the search is still on, but I've never started....that brings me to my next topic
MEN...LOVE...NOTHING lmao! I am so not looking,not interested or anything. Its time consuming,schedule conflicting and so forth...NEXT...
I am such an awesome person, that I get along better by myself lmao! Really....I meet so many people, but as soon as we start to engage in conversation...I'm like B>Y>E. ok,ok...maybe its me, maybe I don't give people a chance,maybe I'm too harsh on folks, maybe,maybe,maybe....FACT people are ignorant(used properly),naive,disrespectful, stuck in their ways and immature. I have little to no tolerance for it, hence why I have way more associates than friends....enough people bashing....NEXT
ME!!!!! Tamika/Dr.Mika
I know where I came from, but the visual is blurry....*Contradiction* Granted I am on a quest to greatness but this road is one h*** of a path. I have found myself OVER mostly everyone of my past, unable to hold conversations with them, just simple things. Sometimes it confuses me because I know this is apart of growth,but it still confuses me. Anyway
Gotta run...literally before it rains *i'll be back*
Monday, July 18, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Nothing is different that stays the same.
Theory: I attract losers : )
I was not going to blog about this, but my bestie thinks I should so here goes.....
This is about the guy from my post "you get the buddy and the booty"....I told myself I would not give him a chance I did go back on my word. Imagine someone who takes you to this spot, where nothing matters but me. I cherished the time I spent with him, every second. There were times when he would sense me being upset over text and just say do you want to go to the spot? This he did as a friend. We shared dreams, confusion and our thoughts for the moment. In all of that I let it slide the many time "us" was brought up in conversation. I mean we first started off as speaking from him trying to "holla" so why wouldn't this come up? But it was something that just wasn't there that would make me want to be with him. His ability to have me take down that guard down overshadowed so many other things. I tend to keep my feelings so close to me when it comes to men, when I feel comfortable enough to share my feelings sincerely with a guy I think that overshadows other aspects of the relationship. This case being a true example.
He was against a lot of things I talked about and truly am connected to,one being adoption, he even said to me at age 20 waiting for a child was not something he wanted to do. A child is far from my mind right now. Sometimes he would 'brag' about the things he does, money does not matter to me in a relationship. Who wants a man who is not attempting to do something meaningful? Work ethic matters more than money, so when he said he was starting a business instead of finishing school, I tried to encourage him,as a friend... When he was complaining about how much he had to work, I only asked once well why didn't you finish college? When he bragged about the vehicle he drives I sat quiet unless he took it overboard.
We started "dating" in November after a night of conversation and mixed emotions. I felt that I was "in" love with him, when I only confused that with loneliness and loving him as a friend. While at school someone I was working closely with showed me attention that made me realize that I was not in love with this guy. Needless to say, I ended it. Since then we continue to talk.
My reason for this post, me finding out that he's having a child. :blank stare:
Did he flat out tell me? NO! I seen something about a baby registry on his Instant messenger and asked him about it. His reason for not telling me? He found out a month ago and didn't know how to tell me? LOL! I wished him luck. What more is there to do or say? I did say that the fact that he did not tell me made me feel some type of way, he found out when we were "together" so why did I find out tonight? And all of this over Instant Messenger I don't get a call?
The things that's keeping him around are memories but with all the foulness that he's been doing....the memories are fading! Glad I ended things..
Dr.Mika
I'm unable to let go of my past, I have been back and forth with my boyfriend's from childhood or keep the same guys around. Apart of me STILL wants to keep him around. I have to separate myself but honestly I don't want to... Last night in Church I said I would put everything in God's hands, Its beyond what I want now...
Not to end this sadly, I have been IN love before,and I know the feeling...as well as what I want so I'm good <3
I was not going to blog about this, but my bestie thinks I should so here goes.....
This is about the guy from my post "you get the buddy and the booty"....I told myself I would not give him a chance I did go back on my word. Imagine someone who takes you to this spot, where nothing matters but me. I cherished the time I spent with him, every second. There were times when he would sense me being upset over text and just say do you want to go to the spot? This he did as a friend. We shared dreams, confusion and our thoughts for the moment. In all of that I let it slide the many time "us" was brought up in conversation. I mean we first started off as speaking from him trying to "holla" so why wouldn't this come up? But it was something that just wasn't there that would make me want to be with him. His ability to have me take down that guard down overshadowed so many other things. I tend to keep my feelings so close to me when it comes to men, when I feel comfortable enough to share my feelings sincerely with a guy I think that overshadows other aspects of the relationship. This case being a true example.
He was against a lot of things I talked about and truly am connected to,one being adoption, he even said to me at age 20 waiting for a child was not something he wanted to do. A child is far from my mind right now. Sometimes he would 'brag' about the things he does, money does not matter to me in a relationship. Who wants a man who is not attempting to do something meaningful? Work ethic matters more than money, so when he said he was starting a business instead of finishing school, I tried to encourage him,as a friend... When he was complaining about how much he had to work, I only asked once well why didn't you finish college? When he bragged about the vehicle he drives I sat quiet unless he took it overboard.
We started "dating" in November after a night of conversation and mixed emotions. I felt that I was "in" love with him, when I only confused that with loneliness and loving him as a friend. While at school someone I was working closely with showed me attention that made me realize that I was not in love with this guy. Needless to say, I ended it. Since then we continue to talk.
My reason for this post, me finding out that he's having a child. :blank stare:
Did he flat out tell me? NO! I seen something about a baby registry on his Instant messenger and asked him about it. His reason for not telling me? He found out a month ago and didn't know how to tell me? LOL! I wished him luck. What more is there to do or say? I did say that the fact that he did not tell me made me feel some type of way, he found out when we were "together" so why did I find out tonight? And all of this over Instant Messenger I don't get a call?
The things that's keeping him around are memories but with all the foulness that he's been doing....the memories are fading! Glad I ended things..
Dr.Mika
I'm unable to let go of my past, I have been back and forth with my boyfriend's from childhood or keep the same guys around. Apart of me STILL wants to keep him around. I have to separate myself but honestly I don't want to... Last night in Church I said I would put everything in God's hands, Its beyond what I want now...
Not to end this sadly, I have been IN love before,and I know the feeling...as well as what I want so I'm good <3
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