Theory: I attract losers : )
I was not going to blog about this, but my bestie thinks I should so here goes.....
This is about the guy from my post "you get the buddy and the booty"....I told myself I would not give him a chance I did go back on my word. Imagine someone who takes you to this spot, where nothing matters but me. I cherished the time I spent with him, every second. There were times when he would sense me being upset over text and just say do you want to go to the spot? This he did as a friend. We shared dreams, confusion and our thoughts for the moment. In all of that I let it slide the many time "us" was brought up in conversation. I mean we first started off as speaking from him trying to "holla" so why wouldn't this come up? But it was something that just wasn't there that would make me want to be with him. His ability to have me take down that guard down overshadowed so many other things. I tend to keep my feelings so close to me when it comes to men, when I feel comfortable enough to share my feelings sincerely with a guy I think that overshadows other aspects of the relationship. This case being a true example.
He was against a lot of things I talked about and truly am connected to,one being adoption, he even said to me at age 20 waiting for a child was not something he wanted to do. A child is far from my mind right now. Sometimes he would 'brag' about the things he does, money does not matter to me in a relationship. Who wants a man who is not attempting to do something meaningful? Work ethic matters more than money, so when he said he was starting a business instead of finishing school, I tried to encourage him,as a friend... When he was complaining about how much he had to work, I only asked once well why didn't you finish college? When he bragged about the vehicle he drives I sat quiet unless he took it overboard.
We started "dating" in November after a night of conversation and mixed emotions. I felt that I was "in" love with him, when I only confused that with loneliness and loving him as a friend. While at school someone I was working closely with showed me attention that made me realize that I was not in love with this guy. Needless to say, I ended it. Since then we continue to talk.
My reason for this post, me finding out that he's having a child. :blank stare:
Did he flat out tell me? NO! I seen something about a baby registry on his Instant messenger and asked him about it. His reason for not telling me? He found out a month ago and didn't know how to tell me? LOL! I wished him luck. What more is there to do or say? I did say that the fact that he did not tell me made me feel some type of way, he found out when we were "together" so why did I find out tonight? And all of this over Instant Messenger I don't get a call?
The things that's keeping him around are memories but with all the foulness that he's been doing....the memories are fading! Glad I ended things..
Dr.Mika
I'm unable to let go of my past, I have been back and forth with my boyfriend's from childhood or keep the same guys around. Apart of me STILL wants to keep him around. I have to separate myself but honestly I don't want to... Last night in Church I said I would put everything in God's hands, Its beyond what I want now...
Not to end this sadly, I have been IN love before,and I know the feeling...as well as what I want so I'm good <3
